P.S. I am Sorry

It seems easy when I think about it. But when I try to do it, stress is all I got. I don’t know why, but this kind of situations make me uncomfortable. Everyone sees it as the best chance for me. Well, if it is, I will be happy with all the obstacles. Now, what happened? I freak out every time it started and ended.

I am truly grateful with my life. I have great family that always send their love and pray. They support me in everything. I am blessed, that anywhere I go, I always find wonderful friends. People who will understand and calm me when I am stupid. But I become a fool to many times nowadays. And that’s not good for me and for other. People will get bored to hear all of my problems. I am not a drama queen.


My life is perfect with him by my side. He makes me realize that I am not alone anymore. He makes everything easy for me. He holds my hand when I am afraid. He saves me from my worries.

I love them all; I want to give them my best love. But it is hard to do when I am not happy, when I am so not enjoy the moment, when I am always desperate to reach something that frighten me. I feel exhausted even when I sleep. I am crying while I am laughing. I search for happiness by eating something I don’t even want it. I close my mind just to wish that today is going to be over soon.

Can I make people around me happy while I feel so upset? I hate myself for being a loser. I blame myself as I give up easily. But my dreams are bigger than this. My potentials are brighter than just this person who sighing every time the phone ring. I can fly higher than those luxurious life style. I want to work harder than anyone else with smile on my face. I need to be proud of myself as I finished all my challenges of the day, go to sleep and be ready to face more the next day. I need to love myself more than anything.

~If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it's moving you away from your goals~

Brian Tracy 

Cool Whispers

The wind come into my room through the window

Touch the pure air and feel the breeze

I can feel it on my skin, freezing my heart

I hide under my blanket searching for comfort

It so warm and save, like deep in my mother's arm

I close my eyes, and slowly see my mother 

Her smile is gentle and sweet

Her soft hand touches my cheek

My dear mother,

In the cold winter, you hold me tight

Embrace me with your love

Hush my restless heart

You whisper to my ear 

My dear child,

Remember that Allah is watching us

Never forget to pray

Be grateful and ask for forgiveness 

And may happiness come to your life

Peace for a moment

All the burden fade away

Enlighten my heavy brain

Distinguish my confusion

Through the window

Seeing the outside world

Whispering to the wind

Please mother, take care

I'll be home soon

On your birthday

May Allah  bless you

And give you health

~Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever~

Inspired from Cool Whispers - tatta hitotsu no koi- 

When a Rose taken in a Blink on an Eye

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”


David Harkins quotes (British Poet and Painter b.1958)

To My Beloved Sister, Mba Irin.

Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun..

May Allah SWT bless you..

I am gonna miss you..