P.S. I am Sorry

It seems easy when I think about it. But when I try to do it, stress is all I got. I don’t know why, but this kind of situations make me uncomfortable. Everyone sees it as the best chance for me. Well, if it is, I will be happy with all the obstacles. Now, what happened? I freak out every time it started and ended.

I am truly grateful with my life. I have great family that always send their love and pray. They support me in everything. I am blessed, that anywhere I go, I always find wonderful friends. People who will understand and calm me when I am stupid. But I become a fool to many times nowadays. And that’s not good for me and for other. People will get bored to hear all of my problems. I am not a drama queen.


My life is perfect with him by my side. He makes me realize that I am not alone anymore. He makes everything easy for me. He holds my hand when I am afraid. He saves me from my worries.

I love them all; I want to give them my best love. But it is hard to do when I am not happy, when I am so not enjoy the moment, when I am always desperate to reach something that frighten me. I feel exhausted even when I sleep. I am crying while I am laughing. I search for happiness by eating something I don’t even want it. I close my mind just to wish that today is going to be over soon.

Can I make people around me happy while I feel so upset? I hate myself for being a loser. I blame myself as I give up easily. But my dreams are bigger than this. My potentials are brighter than just this person who sighing every time the phone ring. I can fly higher than those luxurious life style. I want to work harder than anyone else with smile on my face. I need to be proud of myself as I finished all my challenges of the day, go to sleep and be ready to face more the next day. I need to love myself more than anything.

~If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it's moving you away from your goals~

Brian Tracy